back in the game!

Over the past 12 months, I've finally felt that strong longing to be part of theater again. (To recap: I did theater almost nonstop from ages 12 to about 23, when I burned out and migrated to improv.) Since there is a community theater in my town of Forest Hills, I thought that I could get involved with them.

As much as it's slagged off in the professional and almost-professional NY scene, there is a lot of good in community theater. It's made up of people who do shows not because they want to move on to the next level, to be seen, to be cutting-edge, to be famous, to be admired ... these are people who do shows because they love theater, and because their audience loves theater, and why can't that be enough?

Last August, I'd read that they were doing Company in May, and, as a musical theater gal who is in her 30s, I was PSYCHED about this - up until February, that is, when I found out that I'd be going to a wedding during the first weekend of the run. Oh, well. Too bad. That sucks.

Then a few weeks ago, I received an email about their new show, a historical drama about Ida Tarbell, a journalist who went after Standard Oil. Despite the fact that the lead role is a woman in her mid-to-late 40s, I thought, Why not go out for it? My stock in trade during middle school and high school was middle-aged women! Besides, age is elastic in community theater - I should know, having played characters in their 20s, 30s and 40s while still a teenager.

My audition on Wednesday went really, really well. I'd been nervous about figuring out how to scale my performance for a stage, since it had been a while and I really didn't want to overdo it. For some reason, I just connected immediately to the material, and gave more of a performance than an audition. The character as written was a little younger, closer to my age, and, thanks to months spent trying to enliven children's books for my daughter, I was able to put spins on my line readings that made the text more like language.

The theater company had a second day of auditions on Thursday, and I was to come back on Friday night for callbacks. Except that I got a call on Thursday night. And was offered the role!

You must understand that, in all of my years of acting and auditioning, I have gotten exactly three roles for which I had specifically auditioned, none of which were lead roles. Most of the time, I've auditioned for a lead, but been cast as another character - or not at all. The one time in my life I have ever played a lead role - in high school - I'd actually auditioned for a smaller role because my friend wanted the lead, so I couldn't fully enjoy it when cast.

This is totally different. And intimidating. And exciting! And scary.

I haven't been onstage in several years. I haven't had to learn lines or memorize blocking. Now I'm diving headfirst into a drama, complete with facts-heavy, specific dialogue and monologues to the ghost of my father.

There's also the responsibility of being a cast member who's playing the lead. I need to show up on time, be professional, learn my lines as fast or faster than everyone, and, above all, be gracious, pleasant and fun to be around. I mean, obviously, the director is in charge of the group, but it's up to me to set a good example.

So how am I wrapping my head around all of this?

I'm looking to the character ... a woman of strength, focus and discipline. I've decided to make changes in my life. I'm eating better. I'm waking up earlier and going to bed earlier. I started running this morning (well, walking/running, since it's my first time ever doing it). If I spend the next six weeks taking control of my life, I will be stronger, leaner, and calmer. I will help myself be a better me as well as a better "her."

This is my chance to storm back into theater, and I want to make a splash!

-Oh, and I also want to be reviewed, DESPERATELY. Always have, but never have been. (If you look at my theater reviews, I always made a point to write about the cast, singling out people whenever possible, just in case anyone else was like me in this regard.) Hopefully, I can use my theater connections to make that happen. ;)