poetry corner: [untitled]

i have always been
an "i'm fine"-er,
answering the question
with a barely considered
mostly untrue
"I'm fine."

and lately it seems
that i'm no longer
getting asked this question:
"How are you?"

do people no longer
care to know
this about me?

do people assume the
answer
before i even say it?

did i spend too much time
recuperating and
feeding my baby -
days full of television
and being touched
and not doing anything
for me -
saying that nothing was going on
because it wasn't going on
for me

so that now,
when i'm trying to make things
happen ...
when i'm trying to
get myself back ...
when i'm really wanting
to be
SOMEONE
to be
LAUREN
to be
SEPARATE and ALONE ...

...

i'm not even worth asking after?